Where I find myself

Hello, my name is Bob, and I have a ......... problem. That is why I'm here. I'll start by sharing a little about myself, and some of my thoughts I hope to put out into the cloud we collectively call the Internet.

I am a white male, currently 38 years old, single, and a wheelchair user. My particular disability is Spinal Muscular Atrophy Type II (SMA) and it has pretty much defined my life up to this point, and continues to steer me in many ways I don't want to go. Through many devious (and some completely unexpected) means, it has prevented me from walking, driving, playing most sports, and interacting with most people. Of course, it had some help along the way... my other stumbling block is shyness, and I have discovered that these 2 issues are deadly when combined.

So, I find myself today in a place I don't want to be... and it doesn't help at all when I see endless chatter of "amazing stories" of people who have overcome their disability and have such a positive outlook on life, and are able to thank god for their trials and tribulations... ugh... that crap gets very old and makes me want to puke... mostly because that is how I USED TO BE and I get pissed that I haven't been able to remember why I ever had those thoughts. But, I digress... I do recognize that the vast majority of people find themselves on a path in life they didn't want, and I know that there are many worse places or situations I could find myself in. This won't be a continuous "woe is me" diatribe, believe me, but I do hope to share some honesty and some larger thoughts and feelings along the way.

So, I have begun...